Is it possible to pull off a 25 day holiday in the midst of busy season especially if you are not getting married or attending any unavoidable events (and especially if you’re a Chartered Accountant working with the big 4)- Most of you would not even bother to try for the leave just for fear of rejection. However to all the naysayers, I just pulled off the coup of all coups last year and two things is all it took- putting in a leave request three months in advance and high levels of efficiency to ensure all work is completed before you disappear. And when you have a 25 day Euro trip planned- I can assure you the motivation and efficiency levels skyrocket.
This trip was by far- the coolest thing I have done for myself. A completely self sponsored pampering holiday. There were friends who were green with envy that their honeymoons had not lasted as long as my proposed holiday. And to travel without your father’s credit card and explore new places, people and languages with friends is just an incredible experience every person should live through before they get married or totally screwed at work.
And its impossible to talk about the trip without mentioning the phases:-
Phase 1: An idea is born
Growing up, Bunty (my rakhi brother) , Neha (best bud) and me made a pact that no matter where each one of us would be , we would make it to each other’s weddings. Of course at age 15 you really don’t envision that one of you would get married in Scandinavia. Nevertheless, a pact is a pact and you have to honour it. Hence, Lasse (Neha’s Danish boyfriend) proposed to Neha in February 2011 and ever since then I was after his life to decide the wedding dates.
March 2011- The thought of deciding a wedding date soon after the engagement was alien to a Dane but nonetheless he came through and the date was set for 6 August 2011. Bunty and me then sat to task to wonder how to budget the trip and which other countries we should cover other than Denmark. We also had to fathom how we would tolerate each other the entire trip which was when we decided to make it a month long trip and invite a couple of friends.
April 2011- The destinations were decided- London, Berlin, Budapest, Prague, Paris, Amsterdam and Denmark (the wedding location). Then , followed the huge task of convincing Bunty and my parents to allow us to blow up cash on such an extravagant trip. Also- we had to pacify the bride-to-be that we would be in Denmark for atleast five days (so much for claiming that the main focus of the Euro trip was her wedding)
May 2011- Nirav (Bunty’s best friend ) and me were completely immersed in our hectic schedules at work putting all the onus of planning the trip on my unwilling but unemployed brother. Hence, an Excel sheet was conceptualized and implemented- complete with a color scheme for every city, must cover spots courtesy ‘trip advisor.com’, mode of travel, type of hostel and the whole nine yards. Our credit card numbers were handed over to Bunty as he would complete the online hostel bookings and it was not rare that I would be sitting in a meeting with a message flashing on my phone-Rs 25,000 debited!!! Of course- my brother didn’t consider it necessary to inform me before using my card.
June 2011- The Visa process.
The most annoying bit of holding an Indian passport is the tedious visa procedures you are subjected to. Since, I was flying to London as well as Europe unlike the others- I had the UK Visa process to deal with which I assure you is about as easy as getting found in the Bermuda Triangle. My all knowing friend Ivan- shared his top summary sheet he prepared for the UK Embassy which pretty much encompassed everything they would want to know- purpose of visit, who I would be visiting (my sister), how much money I had in my bank account, all my investments, proof of being a law abiding tax return filing citizen, duration of stay, whether my sister was a law abiding citizen….. phew!!! I even went a step further and gave references of backup documents attached complete with post-its. And you would think- this would be enough- but no-they advised me that before sending the papers, it would be best if I also attached my sister’s employment contract. (Apparently, the work permit and the sponsor letter on her company letterhead does not suffice as proof that she is not an illegal immigrant). Anyway, the day after I submitted my papers to the UK embassy – there was a report in the papers about how the embassy had started taking longer time to process the visas- almost 5 weeks up from 3 weeks. Due to this factor being non-existent at the time of planning- this meant 5 weeks would mean the day I was supposed to fly out!!! And to make things better- my agent had advised me to get the UK Visa before applying for the Schengen….oh darn!!!! However, the British came through for me and my visa arrived within 3 weeks saving me from a medically fatal situation. My Schengen too arrived 5 days before my travel date.
The verdict-
London was exciting and with an infectious buzz that encapsulates you. I escaped the riotous side of it by three weeks (what brilliant timing!). What I got to witness was fabulous English summer weather, the river Thames cruise, the Bank of England sports day, brilliant stand -up comedy, over the top musicals, Shakespearean plays at the Globe, shopping at a time when everything and a sock is on 65-70% reductions (those numbers are plain music to a girl’s ears), delicious fish and chips at traditional British pubs, travelling through the amazingly well connected underground i.e the tube, the vintage old taxis, traditional big red sightseeing buses and the well known sights around the city.
Berlin was sleepy by day but very aptly christened as Europe’s party capital. There were serpentine lines outside nightclubs and each club had a designated dress code which had to be followed to the tee. There were clubs that had a strict casual dress code and anyone in heels or too much make up was thrown out (which means most of the people anyway). Berliners are a creative lot and the city is full of graffiti sprayed all across. We visited beer gardens and did sightseeing on a cycle. The beer (Guiness, Rahler,etc)was one of the best and where else do you get to a club to party at 1 am and leave post breakfast (Pune Commissioner of Police- can we do away with the 11.30p.m deadline)!!!
Prague and Budapest – the poorer cousins by virtue of being in Eastern Europe and not having an economy strong enough for the Euro. Both countries were gorgeous and their architectural beauty -unparalleled. The brilliance of the cities - Towering castles which made me feel like I had been transported into a Hans Christen Anderson fairytale, quaint cobbled streets , busy squares in the middle of town, cheap casinos, pub crawls, overpowering bascilicos and cathedrals, appetizing goulash, drunken favourites like the Becherovka and Abscinth and the rightly famous medicinal Turkish hot spring baths.
We stayed in a party hostel in Budapest which was very conveniently located by my brother. The rules of a party hostel are as follows:-you do not need to worry about where to party as the hostel manager decides the activities for the evening and the right spots to hit. The evening’s schedule was listed out on a blackboard in the middle of the hostel and the gang left at sharp 8 pm daily. I admit that I was a tad bit scandalized on seeing women completely passed out in their negligees when we arrived at 7 am for checking in. The guys were of course thrilled at this lovely welcoming sight! Hmph!!
Our Prague hostel – the Mosaic House on the other hand was better than a 5 star hotel in India. For under 40 euros a night- this place was the best bargain we got on our entire trip. The rooms were so beautifully done up in passionate red and candles with the only down side being I was sharing it with my brother.
Paris- the romantic city. I conclude that the Eiffel Tower is definitely not overrated. (The tiny Mona Lisa most definitely is) It is pure magic to watch the Eiffel by night in all its illumination and see it sparkle every hour and to watch hopeless romantics propose to their loved ones all around you. Love is in the air and that’s where you feel it the most. Other than the Eiffel , the Louvre and Napoleon’s Tomb, the Sacre Couer, the cathedral located on the highest point of Paris has a breathtaking view of Paris and attending its Sunday mass and hearing the church choir is not to be missed. Paris had its share of quaint artsy villages with caricaturists , sketch artists and various other craftsmen and street performers. Word of caution though, the city is expensive as hell and the size of our hostel room resembled a slum in Dharavi. With our heights varying in the range of 5’10 to 6’3- the three of us could not be standing at any point of time together. Thus, one person was always assigned to the bunk bed to enable free mobility.
Amsterdam- The city of Heinekin beer, ‘coffee’shops and casinos, this place impressed with its canals and parks and incredible food. Best explored on a cycle, the sights were many. Contrary to the image I had in mind, Amsterdam had a lot of family tourists. The red light district was a novelty and photography is strictly prohibited anywhere in the area. The coffee shops are for the adventurous. Yours truly tried the space brownie from the famed Bulldog café but sadly- there was no impact. I even did the Anne Frank House tour for two hours post the brownie.
Denmark- The thumb rule of Scandinavia- the closer you get to Scandinavian countries, the more expensive everything gets. This is true of Denmark- atrociously expensive and affordable to only those who earn a living there. This was our final destination and since my brother had blown up 200 Euros at the Amsterdam casino- we were on a shoestring budget for the last five days of our trip. As if financial constraints were not tough, Bunty and me even missed our connecting flight to Aarhus from Copenhagen (this being our most expensive flight ticket-Rs 10,000 approximately). What followed was- dramatic pleas with the airport management who refused to budge saying it was not their fault that the terminal gates were so far away, exchanging our last precious Euros and getting a piddly rate in Kroner, getting onto a train journey that was three hours long with no money for food or water. We finally reached our destination at 6 pm (instead of 1 pm) and pounced upon the Indian meal prepared by Aunty like ravenous pigs. From then on, we got busy with wedding preparations and what a wedding it was- tasteful, classy, lots of alcohol and wine, 4 course meal, a live band, just 60 guests (which by Danish standards is a big wedding) and dancing till 4 am. And with this- my trip came to a close.
Key Elements of Understanding based on my Euro trip
- Its not a backpacking trip unless you book yourself in youth hostels ( some of them even better than 4 star hotels in India) and do not be lazy and use a travel agent. Do bookings online.
- Try all forms of travel – do the Euro rail, the Euro lines (bus), rent a car and drive around the countryside, fly the internal cheap airlines (that fleece you on baggage check in and printing of boarding passes) and be ready for loads of walking.
- Carry all medicines with you as even Strepsils cost almost Rs 500!! But you can never carry enough medicines (yours truly battled a sty in Amsterdam ) In such cases, you just render yourself to Murphy.
- You will be mistaken for Brazilian/Columbian/ Spanish (everything but an Indian) and no one will be able to pronounce your name unless your Catholic. To make it easier, my name for all local purposes became Bianca.
- Do not over plan or over think. Perfect trips are no fun. Hence, I look past missing my most expensive flight (Copenhagen to Aarhus) despite being at the airport but wrong gate, shelling out 100 pounds for 5 kilos of excess baggage from London to Berlin (after fighting with a mule of an attendant), missing breakfast time and surviving till lunch on chips and yogurt, gambling unsuccessfully and losing 100 euros in a sitting, losing my friends for over an hour at Champs de Elysses, Paris, Lufthansa misplacing my baggage amongst other things.
However, this is the stuff that great memories and great trips are made of.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Monday, March 14, 2011
The BMS Syndrome
Most females suffer from PMS! Fortunately, I have been spared of the monthly torture 98% of the womenfolk go through (it helps to be in the minority in some cases).
However, when God opens one pathway for you, he also clogs another one just to achieve a compensating effect (this is applicable to all scenarios).
Hence, he gave me a deadlier battle to face- BMS!! I can almost see all your brows raising in thought . Well- BMS also known as Buy More Shoes!!
It’s a syndrome which we can safely conclude as having reached epidemic proportions. However, very few girls/women will even acknowledge it and will continue to live forever burying their faces in fresh shoe bags in denial.
However, I shall accept that I am a BMS victim. In hindsight, I cannot place my finger on any one point when my obsession originated. However, there has been a consistent growth trajectory.
Phase A- For the longest time in my growing years- I was a tomboy who thought sneakers were the coolest thing to happen to mankind. You wouldn’t have caught me dead or crawling in sandals or heels. And when your tall and learning Bharatnatyam – heels are definitely on the banned item list-Schedule 1.
Phase B- The wonder teen years- When your not making your own money- you just wear what your folks get you (I already sense a generation gap on this). This phase was marked by awkward Bata footwear and cheap maal from Bandra Linking Road apart from what the parents provided. I did discover sandals as I did nail polish in this phase. (toerings also- a trend I wish I had not followed). The love affair with sneakers continued though.
Phase C- The 20-25 years stage- the coming of age stage. Well once it was established I was not going to get any taller (I stand at 5 feet 9 inches), buying shoes became the safest investment really. It was better than clothes as your shoe size doesn’t stand to vary unlike your weight.
Buying shoes is like buying art. You may like many pieces but you will not spend until you get that right fit and heel. Considering I fall under the tall giant category, most shoes are not made keeping my height in mind. To avoid looking right out of Gullivers Travels, I need to make a conscientious effort in choosing the right amount of heel. I dare not venture higher than 2 inches.
I sigh at the sight of pretty shoes in well lit showrooms. New shoes get me out of a bad mood- similar to how ice cream or chocolates would work on an average person. I love cleaning my shoe collection even when they are all clean.
To clarify, I am not into high end shoes- the Choos , Blahniks and Louboutins do not even interest me. I think any pair of shoes should not cost more than Rs 2,000- be it sports or strappy or evening wear. Blame the Indian mentality- but I love a good bargain. Nothing delights me more than the four letter word’ SALE’ screaming out to me via newspapers or smses.
I recall this one time I was assigned on a client on the outskirts of Pune. Any professional shopaholic can tell you- that the first day of the sale is the day when you have access to the crème’ of the stock. My sale plus shoe combined obsession led to manipulative tendencies where in I sold a hackneyed story to my unsuspecting client of how I had a friends engagement to attend and had to be in the city by 8 pm. Needless to say, I ran away at 6.30 p.m and reached the mall at 8 p.m just 30 minutes short of closing time on the first day of sale- and the adrenalin rush I felt on having reached the destination before the shutters fell was unbelievable.
Additionally, I remember how in 2009- I lugged back shoes and sandals from Bangkok in every color I wear. They didn’t last too long which has made me wiser about quality and not going in for too much of a bargain either.
Much to my parents dismay- I have made it imperative that I need a partner who is atleast a six footer. 5’11’’ will not make the cut as I wear 2 inch heels and I just cannot be the same height as my partner. (I don’t understand the Katie Holmes/ Nicole Kidman school of thought of being taller than your partner either). Plus what would become of all my dear shoes with heels then?!!
My ROI (return on investment) in them would turn negative!!!
Well, to look on the brighter side, it is a mercy that I don’t feel the same way about clothes. :))
However, when God opens one pathway for you, he also clogs another one just to achieve a compensating effect (this is applicable to all scenarios).
Hence, he gave me a deadlier battle to face- BMS!! I can almost see all your brows raising in thought . Well- BMS also known as Buy More Shoes!!
It’s a syndrome which we can safely conclude as having reached epidemic proportions. However, very few girls/women will even acknowledge it and will continue to live forever burying their faces in fresh shoe bags in denial.
However, I shall accept that I am a BMS victim. In hindsight, I cannot place my finger on any one point when my obsession originated. However, there has been a consistent growth trajectory.
Phase A- For the longest time in my growing years- I was a tomboy who thought sneakers were the coolest thing to happen to mankind. You wouldn’t have caught me dead or crawling in sandals or heels. And when your tall and learning Bharatnatyam – heels are definitely on the banned item list-Schedule 1.
Phase B- The wonder teen years- When your not making your own money- you just wear what your folks get you (I already sense a generation gap on this). This phase was marked by awkward Bata footwear and cheap maal from Bandra Linking Road apart from what the parents provided. I did discover sandals as I did nail polish in this phase. (toerings also- a trend I wish I had not followed). The love affair with sneakers continued though.
Phase C- The 20-25 years stage- the coming of age stage. Well once it was established I was not going to get any taller (I stand at 5 feet 9 inches), buying shoes became the safest investment really. It was better than clothes as your shoe size doesn’t stand to vary unlike your weight.
Buying shoes is like buying art. You may like many pieces but you will not spend until you get that right fit and heel. Considering I fall under the tall giant category, most shoes are not made keeping my height in mind. To avoid looking right out of Gullivers Travels, I need to make a conscientious effort in choosing the right amount of heel. I dare not venture higher than 2 inches.
I sigh at the sight of pretty shoes in well lit showrooms. New shoes get me out of a bad mood- similar to how ice cream or chocolates would work on an average person. I love cleaning my shoe collection even when they are all clean.
To clarify, I am not into high end shoes- the Choos , Blahniks and Louboutins do not even interest me. I think any pair of shoes should not cost more than Rs 2,000- be it sports or strappy or evening wear. Blame the Indian mentality- but I love a good bargain. Nothing delights me more than the four letter word’ SALE’ screaming out to me via newspapers or smses.
I recall this one time I was assigned on a client on the outskirts of Pune. Any professional shopaholic can tell you- that the first day of the sale is the day when you have access to the crème’ of the stock. My sale plus shoe combined obsession led to manipulative tendencies where in I sold a hackneyed story to my unsuspecting client of how I had a friends engagement to attend and had to be in the city by 8 pm. Needless to say, I ran away at 6.30 p.m and reached the mall at 8 p.m just 30 minutes short of closing time on the first day of sale- and the adrenalin rush I felt on having reached the destination before the shutters fell was unbelievable.
Additionally, I remember how in 2009- I lugged back shoes and sandals from Bangkok in every color I wear. They didn’t last too long which has made me wiser about quality and not going in for too much of a bargain either.
Much to my parents dismay- I have made it imperative that I need a partner who is atleast a six footer. 5’11’’ will not make the cut as I wear 2 inch heels and I just cannot be the same height as my partner. (I don’t understand the Katie Holmes/ Nicole Kidman school of thought of being taller than your partner either). Plus what would become of all my dear shoes with heels then?!!
My ROI (return on investment) in them would turn negative!!!
Well, to look on the brighter side, it is a mercy that I don’t feel the same way about clothes. :))
Monday, January 10, 2011
Hello 2011!
With this entry, I mark my first foray into the blogosphere in 2011. This auspicious beginning hopefully heralds a certain consistency in my blogging and will not be as intermittent as it was in the previous year. As cliche' as it sounds, any entry made in the new year would be incomplete without mention of a new year resolution and well, my resolution for the year is to have no resolutions (also a cliche' mostly).
This past year has been hugely fulfilling and has taught me some enduring lessons at the workplace and in life. The highlight of the year was achieving a career milestone- becoming an Assistant Manager at age 25. Other than this, I had a lot of my perceptions shattered and had to do a rethink on many things I had taken for granted up until now. Important lessons learnt:-
a) Egos can destroy friendships: If someone is not ready to set aside their ego and even discuss what is bothering them, there is no friendship there. As hard as I tried to even get a word across, a conversation is only possible with mutual consent. At the end of the year, all I kept wondering was whether it was all so fickle in the first place that at the end , it was just me attempting to salvage equations.
b) Age doesnt matter: Met two really amazing people in the last one year- both of them atleast a decade older than me but developed an easy, platonic bond with them. One of them is a friend and mentor while the other is my sounding board- to both I am so thankful ;)
c) Do your work and forget about the fruit: This is right off the Bhagwad Gita but so applicable in everything we do. I remember the angst I went through a couple of weeks before announcement of my promotion and the entire 'will it happen, wont it happen' see- saw of emotions. A very wise colleague of mine (Mr.RDX) put it so plainly and simply- 'If you have done what you have to and if you are good at what you do, no amount of office politics or external factors can stop you from moving ahead.'
Getting back to the new year- I shall not make any resolutions as they become psychologically binding. Hence, the new year is all about a new outlook and a 5-point agenda.
The agenda (in no particular order):-
1) Lose weight- about time really!!!! The Eureka moment was brought about by a colleague who sent me pictures from when I first joined office in 2006. The comparative pictures of 2006 and 2010 were shocking to say the least. Its amazing how much weight one can add just sitting on one's backside and working all day while munching on oily food prepared in client canteens. Even more amazing is how I never realised when I was 3-4 kilos heavier. Now, 10 kilos overweight and realization strikes me like a bolt of lightning. Its a mammoth task- which is why the entire year has been earmarked for this.
2) Get out of the comfort zone- Maybe being a Chartered Accountant makes me inherently risk averse. However, I find that I have slipped into a comfort zone. 2011 shall be the year to introspect and understand how best to not get stuck in a rut of quicksand. There shall be new hobbies, new networks and new challenges.
3) Travel more- A not so proud confession- I went nowhere in 2010 (Mumbai doesnt count). My last planned trip was to Bangkok in November 2009. My dad says he would rather I saved the money (read invest). My polar view is why spend tomorrow what you can spend today ( a mantra that obviously grates on my dad's nerves and which my shopaholic nature can be largely attributed to) and more importantly what you can enjoy better at the moment. On the cards- trip to Andaman and Nicobar islands as well as a Euro trip planned around my best friend's wedding in Denmark.
4) Find a guy- Emphasis on the word ' find' a guy and not so much on 'marriage'. This point makes its way into my agenda mainly owing to my mom's emotional turmoil on the lack of tall and qualified boys and due to some alarming promos of an upcoming movie called 'Turning 30'!
Its hilarious but I still recall watching the promo in the theatre and remarking intially-' Oh, this movie is going to be so drab.' Until at the end of the promo, Richa and me sheepishly realised that the 5 minute promo had just mirrored our social incapacities in terms of getting older but not finding the right one! (Uff!!) So watch out world- I may have had blinkers on all this while but I shall now keep my eyes open even though the hopeless romantic in me wishes the guy finds me and not vice-versa. (Coming soon- blog entry dedicated to this caption and progress on it so far).
5) Give the GMAT- For all friends of mine reading this, I am sure you guys just remarked ' Thank heavens for small mercies- she still remembers it!'. I may have cleared my Chartered Accountancy exam in the first attempt which ought to have made me feel invincible in terms of passing tough examinations. However, never has an exam or rather its format frustrated or stumped me to this extent. Firstly, whoever thought of the adaptive feature in the exam is one sadistic human being. This basically means that if I falter in the intial few questions- I am screwed even if I manage to pick myself and survive the rest of it. How defeatist in spirit is that!!! Anyway , the GMAT and me have been playing hard to get for a while because I simply dont get it! I refuse to join classes that rip you off with their tall claims. And I also cannot manage sitting down and focusing on studying for it while keeping my job intact. So this year- the exam needs to be given and the target score set is 700.
All in all, thats an exhaustive line-up for the year.
Agenda review date: One year hence.
This past year has been hugely fulfilling and has taught me some enduring lessons at the workplace and in life. The highlight of the year was achieving a career milestone- becoming an Assistant Manager at age 25. Other than this, I had a lot of my perceptions shattered and had to do a rethink on many things I had taken for granted up until now. Important lessons learnt:-
a) Egos can destroy friendships: If someone is not ready to set aside their ego and even discuss what is bothering them, there is no friendship there. As hard as I tried to even get a word across, a conversation is only possible with mutual consent. At the end of the year, all I kept wondering was whether it was all so fickle in the first place that at the end , it was just me attempting to salvage equations.
b) Age doesnt matter: Met two really amazing people in the last one year- both of them atleast a decade older than me but developed an easy, platonic bond with them. One of them is a friend and mentor while the other is my sounding board- to both I am so thankful ;)
c) Do your work and forget about the fruit: This is right off the Bhagwad Gita but so applicable in everything we do. I remember the angst I went through a couple of weeks before announcement of my promotion and the entire 'will it happen, wont it happen' see- saw of emotions. A very wise colleague of mine (Mr.RDX) put it so plainly and simply- 'If you have done what you have to and if you are good at what you do, no amount of office politics or external factors can stop you from moving ahead.'
Getting back to the new year- I shall not make any resolutions as they become psychologically binding. Hence, the new year is all about a new outlook and a 5-point agenda.
The agenda (in no particular order):-
1) Lose weight- about time really!!!! The Eureka moment was brought about by a colleague who sent me pictures from when I first joined office in 2006. The comparative pictures of 2006 and 2010 were shocking to say the least. Its amazing how much weight one can add just sitting on one's backside and working all day while munching on oily food prepared in client canteens. Even more amazing is how I never realised when I was 3-4 kilos heavier. Now, 10 kilos overweight and realization strikes me like a bolt of lightning. Its a mammoth task- which is why the entire year has been earmarked for this.
2) Get out of the comfort zone- Maybe being a Chartered Accountant makes me inherently risk averse. However, I find that I have slipped into a comfort zone. 2011 shall be the year to introspect and understand how best to not get stuck in a rut of quicksand. There shall be new hobbies, new networks and new challenges.
3) Travel more- A not so proud confession- I went nowhere in 2010 (Mumbai doesnt count). My last planned trip was to Bangkok in November 2009. My dad says he would rather I saved the money (read invest). My polar view is why spend tomorrow what you can spend today ( a mantra that obviously grates on my dad's nerves and which my shopaholic nature can be largely attributed to) and more importantly what you can enjoy better at the moment. On the cards- trip to Andaman and Nicobar islands as well as a Euro trip planned around my best friend's wedding in Denmark.
4) Find a guy- Emphasis on the word ' find' a guy and not so much on 'marriage'. This point makes its way into my agenda mainly owing to my mom's emotional turmoil on the lack of tall and qualified boys and due to some alarming promos of an upcoming movie called 'Turning 30'!
Its hilarious but I still recall watching the promo in the theatre and remarking intially-' Oh, this movie is going to be so drab.' Until at the end of the promo, Richa and me sheepishly realised that the 5 minute promo had just mirrored our social incapacities in terms of getting older but not finding the right one! (Uff!!) So watch out world- I may have had blinkers on all this while but I shall now keep my eyes open even though the hopeless romantic in me wishes the guy finds me and not vice-versa. (Coming soon- blog entry dedicated to this caption and progress on it so far).
5) Give the GMAT- For all friends of mine reading this, I am sure you guys just remarked ' Thank heavens for small mercies- she still remembers it!'. I may have cleared my Chartered Accountancy exam in the first attempt which ought to have made me feel invincible in terms of passing tough examinations. However, never has an exam or rather its format frustrated or stumped me to this extent. Firstly, whoever thought of the adaptive feature in the exam is one sadistic human being. This basically means that if I falter in the intial few questions- I am screwed even if I manage to pick myself and survive the rest of it. How defeatist in spirit is that!!! Anyway , the GMAT and me have been playing hard to get for a while because I simply dont get it! I refuse to join classes that rip you off with their tall claims. And I also cannot manage sitting down and focusing on studying for it while keeping my job intact. So this year- the exam needs to be given and the target score set is 700.
All in all, thats an exhaustive line-up for the year.
Agenda review date: One year hence.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
They came, bombed and vanished into thin air!!!
Having lived in Pune all my life, I have always felt safe and secure in this Maratha city. All this changed on 13 February 2010 which will forever be marked as a red-letter day for Pune. Its the day we as Puneites realised that we not only have army and air force presence but also the dark lurking presence of sleeper cells in our city. Its the day we rudely awoke to the fact that our city is on the list just as much as metros, that our regular cup of tea (in this case Iranian tea/ginger lemon tea pot,etc) sipped in a quaint, idyllic, roadside cafe could cost us dearly, that high alerts received from the Indian intelligence/police patrolling will not save us from impending terror attacks and so on.
My 24 year old neighbour- Vikas Tulsiani breathed his last on 21 February 2010 after fighting for his life for more than a week. This post is my way of giving tribute to this guy who was oblivious to the fact that he would have to pay for his meal at German Bakery with his life. Vikas was one of the nicest and mild mannered guys I had ever come across. It is pointless to really ask why God fated him to be in the wrong place at the wrong time that day.
Glancing through the list of people who succumbed to their injuries (16 at last count), it was obvious that 99% comprised of young students who were on the brink of new careers. Vikas himself had received his graduation certificate on the ill-fated 13th morning and had been comtemplating pursuing a career in sound engineering. What is enraging about all this is - you had innocent, regular people like you and me, who did nothing foolhardy to deserve to meet their end or have their limbs amputated or suffer above 30% burns.
The important questions to ask now are:-
- Will the sacrifices of innocent citizens be honoured by punishing these terrorists? Or will these terror perpetrators wind up colling their heels in jail awaiting a trial despite their heinous crimes?
- Will there be a continuing lack of preparedness to counter future attacks?
- Will there be a lack of political resolve to reassure people that their lives are precious?
- Will Intelligence Agencies continue to under-inform and take no heed of information gathered earlier? (Mr. Headley had done a recce of areas barely 100 m from German Bakery just a few months ago) Further, will our revered Home Minister conceal the glaring gaffes of his police force in reacting to such information and elude the mention of their responsibility to protect the city.
Public defiance to such attacks has to survive the onslaught of time or else these painful memories wane eventually, leaving us just as vulnerable as before.
My 24 year old neighbour- Vikas Tulsiani breathed his last on 21 February 2010 after fighting for his life for more than a week. This post is my way of giving tribute to this guy who was oblivious to the fact that he would have to pay for his meal at German Bakery with his life. Vikas was one of the nicest and mild mannered guys I had ever come across. It is pointless to really ask why God fated him to be in the wrong place at the wrong time that day.
Glancing through the list of people who succumbed to their injuries (16 at last count), it was obvious that 99% comprised of young students who were on the brink of new careers. Vikas himself had received his graduation certificate on the ill-fated 13th morning and had been comtemplating pursuing a career in sound engineering. What is enraging about all this is - you had innocent, regular people like you and me, who did nothing foolhardy to deserve to meet their end or have their limbs amputated or suffer above 30% burns.
The important questions to ask now are:-
- Will the sacrifices of innocent citizens be honoured by punishing these terrorists? Or will these terror perpetrators wind up colling their heels in jail awaiting a trial despite their heinous crimes?
- Will there be a continuing lack of preparedness to counter future attacks?
- Will there be a lack of political resolve to reassure people that their lives are precious?
- Will Intelligence Agencies continue to under-inform and take no heed of information gathered earlier? (Mr. Headley had done a recce of areas barely 100 m from German Bakery just a few months ago) Further, will our revered Home Minister conceal the glaring gaffes of his police force in reacting to such information and elude the mention of their responsibility to protect the city.
Public defiance to such attacks has to survive the onslaught of time or else these painful memories wane eventually, leaving us just as vulnerable as before.
Friday, February 12, 2010
The Power of Paranormally sub-standard movie reviews!
The object of my ire and which has induced me into writing this entry is the absolutely misleading review for a movie called 'Paranormal Activity'(from the stable of Paramount)(!!!!). Touted to be one of the scariest and well directed horror movies - this one had reviews promising the moon and more. It released in India, months after its international release (recently), and going by the reviews and the numbers (the sleeper hit has generated $100 million in the US alone) and being a horror flick afficinado- I was excited to watch it.
The last horror movie I had seen on 70 mm was the poor sequel- Ring 2. Call me weird, but I prefer the offbeat, unconventional horror movies with unpredictable twists in the end to the gory, bloody, inane movies in which some banshee/ demonic psycho kills everyone in a sequence.
Cases in point of the former- Psycho, Sixth Sense ,the totally underrated Nicole Kidman movie-The Others .
Cases in point of the latter- The Scream , I know what you did last summer, will do (and all the permutations of that one that the franchise can come up with) series.
And how I digress- coming back to this movie (if we can call this futile amateur attempt a movie). I dedicate this post to this ‘movie’ because , well I am PISSED OFF! - pissed at the 'movie'makers and pissed at reviewers who got me all excited to watch this shoddy excuse for a horror movie and wasted my precious time. And for whoever reads this by some miraculous chancing upon, I would have succeeded in my mission to not mislead anymore gullible,hopeful viewers and saved them from contributing towards the revenue of this 'movie'.
Background of movie-
An independent film written and directed by Oren Peli, it premiered at the Screamfest Film Festival ( I screamed in the agony of realizing it did not live up to its hype) , and was shown at the Slamdance Film Festival (wish the critics had slammed this film!). It is modestly made on a budget of $ 15,000 (oh…this shows!)
The ‘movie’ (inspired apparently by a true story) centers around a young couple, well-endowed Katie (the victim) and scrawny but brave Micah, who are haunted by a supernatural presence in their home. Micah decides to purchase a camera to record the haunting episodes during the nights. All the night occurrences are captured on tape and every morning the couple view the audiovisual recordings to identify new evidence. The only thumbs up with respect to this ‘movie’ is that the idea is fresh and for once clichés that the horror genre are usually afflicted with are avoided. There are no heavy thudding footsteps, ghosts with graphic facial disfigurations and sudden explosive sound effects. So for a minute , you are influenced into believing that the ‘movie’ attempts to raise the bar of fear only to realize that the director misses the bar completely. An example of a well conceived idea gone horribly wrong in execution.
Reasons why this movie invites my wrath and scathing criticism:-
-The film is shot with a constantly moving camera and rough around the edges framing, which gives the feel of a video shot at home (this and the fact that there are only 2 beings for 99% of the length of the film explains the miniscule budget).
-As mentioned above, a series of nights are filmed . I sat through expecting some terrifying moments every night. However, the audience is treated to only one eventful night in particular. The rest of the episodes on the remaining nights barely showcase a slight opening of the door, curtains moving, footprints appearing out of nowhere, doors slamming shut and opening, creaking,etc. None of these being the kind to give your spine a chill and before you know it, its morning in the movie and it hits you that 4 mins of film was wasted on that.
- There are no chilly moments in the movie that cause you to hold on to the armrest of your seat for life. No horror chutzpah!L Impossible deadlines at work, the minutes spent before the CA result flashes on the computer screen, clingy needy boys/men, not being able to find the right fitting jeans or the perfect New Year dress, my brother’s 360 degree spins in his car -have to be honest scared me much more than this lame ‘movie’.
- By the end of the ‘movie’, you can predict who is going to be the victim finally. This especially sucks because one always expects something so unexpected that it should blow one’s brains away and make one want to rewind the whole movie in one’s head to see how this turn of events did not seem logical while watching the movie.
I went home pissed off but slept peacefully like a baby! So I really don’t get why its reported that people had trouble sleeping for weeks after watching this movie – I continue to sleep just fine-thank you very much.
Now, the real horror is that Paramount has hired Saw VI director Kevin Greutert to create the follow-up for an October 22, 2010 release.(For their sake, I hope they get it right this time)
P.S- Just saw the trailers of Phoonk 2 – now that looks like it could scare. Will keep you posted.
The last horror movie I had seen on 70 mm was the poor sequel- Ring 2. Call me weird, but I prefer the offbeat, unconventional horror movies with unpredictable twists in the end to the gory, bloody, inane movies in which some banshee/ demonic psycho kills everyone in a sequence.
Cases in point of the former- Psycho, Sixth Sense ,the totally underrated Nicole Kidman movie-The Others .
Cases in point of the latter- The Scream , I know what you did last summer, will do (and all the permutations of that one that the franchise can come up with) series.
And how I digress- coming back to this movie (if we can call this futile amateur attempt a movie). I dedicate this post to this ‘movie’ because , well I am PISSED OFF! - pissed at the 'movie'makers and pissed at reviewers who got me all excited to watch this shoddy excuse for a horror movie and wasted my precious time. And for whoever reads this by some miraculous chancing upon, I would have succeeded in my mission to not mislead anymore gullible,hopeful viewers and saved them from contributing towards the revenue of this 'movie'.
Background of movie-
An independent film written and directed by Oren Peli, it premiered at the Screamfest Film Festival ( I screamed in the agony of realizing it did not live up to its hype) , and was shown at the Slamdance Film Festival (wish the critics had slammed this film!). It is modestly made on a budget of $ 15,000 (oh…this shows!)
The ‘movie’ (inspired apparently by a true story) centers around a young couple, well-endowed Katie (the victim) and scrawny but brave Micah, who are haunted by a supernatural presence in their home. Micah decides to purchase a camera to record the haunting episodes during the nights. All the night occurrences are captured on tape and every morning the couple view the audiovisual recordings to identify new evidence. The only thumbs up with respect to this ‘movie’ is that the idea is fresh and for once clichés that the horror genre are usually afflicted with are avoided. There are no heavy thudding footsteps, ghosts with graphic facial disfigurations and sudden explosive sound effects. So for a minute , you are influenced into believing that the ‘movie’ attempts to raise the bar of fear only to realize that the director misses the bar completely. An example of a well conceived idea gone horribly wrong in execution.
Reasons why this movie invites my wrath and scathing criticism:-
-The film is shot with a constantly moving camera and rough around the edges framing, which gives the feel of a video shot at home (this and the fact that there are only 2 beings for 99% of the length of the film explains the miniscule budget).
-As mentioned above, a series of nights are filmed . I sat through expecting some terrifying moments every night. However, the audience is treated to only one eventful night in particular. The rest of the episodes on the remaining nights barely showcase a slight opening of the door, curtains moving, footprints appearing out of nowhere, doors slamming shut and opening, creaking,etc. None of these being the kind to give your spine a chill and before you know it, its morning in the movie and it hits you that 4 mins of film was wasted on that.
- There are no chilly moments in the movie that cause you to hold on to the armrest of your seat for life. No horror chutzpah!L Impossible deadlines at work, the minutes spent before the CA result flashes on the computer screen, clingy needy boys/men, not being able to find the right fitting jeans or the perfect New Year dress, my brother’s 360 degree spins in his car -have to be honest scared me much more than this lame ‘movie’.
- By the end of the ‘movie’, you can predict who is going to be the victim finally. This especially sucks because one always expects something so unexpected that it should blow one’s brains away and make one want to rewind the whole movie in one’s head to see how this turn of events did not seem logical while watching the movie.
I went home pissed off but slept peacefully like a baby! So I really don’t get why its reported that people had trouble sleeping for weeks after watching this movie – I continue to sleep just fine-thank you very much.
Now, the real horror is that Paramount has hired Saw VI director Kevin Greutert to create the follow-up for an October 22, 2010 release.(For their sake, I hope they get it right this time)
P.S- Just saw the trailers of Phoonk 2 – now that looks like it could scare. Will keep you posted.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
The much delayed Bachelorette Party- Part II
I must start off from where I ended last and not procastrinate any further or Mitali would be settled in her new home in DC by the time I get to this.
A quick recap- Our much envied, pompous and grandiose Goa bachelorette plan backfired and how!!!
Mansi and me decided to resign ourselves to this fact and make do with a dinner and dancing theme in Pune itself. What we had not accounted for is our emotionally unstable Bridezilla aka Mitali having her first tantrum.
I was disturbed from my sleep by a panicky Mansi who claimed Mitali had been bawling all afternoon about how the Gods hated her and how we did too as we had completely canned having any bachelorette party. She was hurt by our insensitivity to hold a ‘lame’ dinner instead of a ‘wild’ party. Oh well- now we had to do something…and soon coz the weekend was just 2 days away.
Mansi and me juggled with the idea of putting Mitali through some more emotional torture and telling her nothing of what we were upto. Circumstances and the bridezilla’s tears forced us to tell her ‘ Shut up already, we are having a party for you but you better behave surprised’.
It was Thursday evening and we had everything left to plan for. We jotted down stuff that we needed :-
1) Fur stoles
2) Tiara
3) Poster of topless guy
4) Suggestive cake (seemed impossible at the time)
5) T-shirts for all the hens
6) Tiny dress for the bride to be
7) Strippers (in Pune, good luck finding one!)
The good thing about having a wild party in Goa is we out of towners did not have to care much while asking locals for the above items. When your faced with the prospect of finding these things in your own city, it leads to quite some discomfort, as Mansi and me would soon discover.
1. Our first stop was a lingerie store where we asked the attendant for some fur stoles- We got everything from feather lingerie, some weird S & M inspired stuff to even fur underwear. Finally, the guy got us some fur stoles from the stock room. We picked up an inky blue one and Mansi decided to wrap it around like a snake and walk across to the cash counter. I could feel all eyes in the store on us. Add to that, Mansi and me just could not believe how we found the stole in the first shop itself and we giggled uncontrollably. (The fur stole eventually leaked color and everyone at the party ended up with ink blue stains on their face)
2. Our search for tiaras landed us in gaudy stores adorned with artificial jewellery. Attendants presented us ‘ugh’ly blingy crowns that just screamed ‘Miss Ulhasnagar 2009’. We rummaged and managed to find a subtle headband with a tiara mounted on it. Simple and sweet.
3. Poster of topless guy- ahhh! Before you get any weird ideas- this was just for a wicked game of ‘Pin the %#!* on the guy’. As corny as it sounds, Mansi and me thought this would be really easy given that there are Hindi film actors who pose topless for their posters 99% of the time. However, these statistics failed us on that very day and we were left to enter every shop and ask rather unabashedly for topless posters. As out dratty luck would have it, we could not even find the posters of the perennially topless actor Salman Khan. We even tried to convince sports shop owners to part with old posters hung in their showrooms. You would think people would part with ages old posters willingly but they just gave us the look of shame. Our wild goose chase ended in a shady basement store and we were rewarded with a poster of Cristiano Ronaldo. (Might I add- after all the painstaking efforts and embarrassment endured for this, we actually forgot to play this game!!!)
4. Suggestive cake- As moral citizens of this city Pune, this posed a particular challenge for Mansi and me as this item could not be requested from the normal bakeries we go to. By some stroke of luck, Mansi’s friend opened a new bakery just the same weekend we were facing a conundrum of where to get the cake from. And while Mansi mentioned her dilemma in passing, her friend promptly called her head chef and said (I quote) “ Bhaiyaji, ek naughty cake lagega. Aap bana sakte ho?” Inane as it sounds, the chef did a fabulous job with the ‘naughty’ (never fails to crack me up) cake and well I cant really mention the shape/the message/ the things we made the bride to be do. In the end, arranging for this cake really turned out to be a piece of cake, pun intended.
5. T-shirts for all the hens- This was the easiest item on the agenda as there was a very co-operative and participative guy based in SGS mall to help with this. He sportingly sat through sessions of Mitali giving him customized nicknames and messages for each person.
6. Tiny dress- Not hard at all considering the hemlines these days. We bought the perfect baby pink princess dress for Mitali.
7. Strippers- As expected, this one on the wish list just could not be fulfilled. We did have some sporting male friends (Mansi’s) drop in but they developed cold feet last minute.
Of course, what happened at the party stays with the invitees of the party. But it was indeed a memorable party (Mitali’s item numbers on Disco Dancer and Beedi deserve special mention here).
Circa 2010- Bridezilla turned out to be quite the perfect bride and must be at this moment as I write these very words, settling down into wedded bliss and domesticity.
Loads of love and happiness to Mitali and Harsh.
A quick recap- Our much envied, pompous and grandiose Goa bachelorette plan backfired and how!!!
Mansi and me decided to resign ourselves to this fact and make do with a dinner and dancing theme in Pune itself. What we had not accounted for is our emotionally unstable Bridezilla aka Mitali having her first tantrum.
I was disturbed from my sleep by a panicky Mansi who claimed Mitali had been bawling all afternoon about how the Gods hated her and how we did too as we had completely canned having any bachelorette party. She was hurt by our insensitivity to hold a ‘lame’ dinner instead of a ‘wild’ party. Oh well- now we had to do something…and soon coz the weekend was just 2 days away.
Mansi and me juggled with the idea of putting Mitali through some more emotional torture and telling her nothing of what we were upto. Circumstances and the bridezilla’s tears forced us to tell her ‘ Shut up already, we are having a party for you but you better behave surprised’.
It was Thursday evening and we had everything left to plan for. We jotted down stuff that we needed :-
1) Fur stoles
2) Tiara
3) Poster of topless guy
4) Suggestive cake (seemed impossible at the time)
5) T-shirts for all the hens
6) Tiny dress for the bride to be
7) Strippers (in Pune, good luck finding one!)
The good thing about having a wild party in Goa is we out of towners did not have to care much while asking locals for the above items. When your faced with the prospect of finding these things in your own city, it leads to quite some discomfort, as Mansi and me would soon discover.
1. Our first stop was a lingerie store where we asked the attendant for some fur stoles- We got everything from feather lingerie, some weird S & M inspired stuff to even fur underwear. Finally, the guy got us some fur stoles from the stock room. We picked up an inky blue one and Mansi decided to wrap it around like a snake and walk across to the cash counter. I could feel all eyes in the store on us. Add to that, Mansi and me just could not believe how we found the stole in the first shop itself and we giggled uncontrollably. (The fur stole eventually leaked color and everyone at the party ended up with ink blue stains on their face)
2. Our search for tiaras landed us in gaudy stores adorned with artificial jewellery. Attendants presented us ‘ugh’ly blingy crowns that just screamed ‘Miss Ulhasnagar 2009’. We rummaged and managed to find a subtle headband with a tiara mounted on it. Simple and sweet.
3. Poster of topless guy- ahhh! Before you get any weird ideas- this was just for a wicked game of ‘Pin the %#!* on the guy’. As corny as it sounds, Mansi and me thought this would be really easy given that there are Hindi film actors who pose topless for their posters 99% of the time. However, these statistics failed us on that very day and we were left to enter every shop and ask rather unabashedly for topless posters. As out dratty luck would have it, we could not even find the posters of the perennially topless actor Salman Khan. We even tried to convince sports shop owners to part with old posters hung in their showrooms. You would think people would part with ages old posters willingly but they just gave us the look of shame. Our wild goose chase ended in a shady basement store and we were rewarded with a poster of Cristiano Ronaldo. (Might I add- after all the painstaking efforts and embarrassment endured for this, we actually forgot to play this game!!!)
4. Suggestive cake- As moral citizens of this city Pune, this posed a particular challenge for Mansi and me as this item could not be requested from the normal bakeries we go to. By some stroke of luck, Mansi’s friend opened a new bakery just the same weekend we were facing a conundrum of where to get the cake from. And while Mansi mentioned her dilemma in passing, her friend promptly called her head chef and said (I quote) “ Bhaiyaji, ek naughty cake lagega. Aap bana sakte ho?” Inane as it sounds, the chef did a fabulous job with the ‘naughty’ (never fails to crack me up) cake and well I cant really mention the shape/the message/ the things we made the bride to be do. In the end, arranging for this cake really turned out to be a piece of cake, pun intended.
5. T-shirts for all the hens- This was the easiest item on the agenda as there was a very co-operative and participative guy based in SGS mall to help with this. He sportingly sat through sessions of Mitali giving him customized nicknames and messages for each person.
6. Tiny dress- Not hard at all considering the hemlines these days. We bought the perfect baby pink princess dress for Mitali.
7. Strippers- As expected, this one on the wish list just could not be fulfilled. We did have some sporting male friends (Mansi’s) drop in but they developed cold feet last minute.
Of course, what happened at the party stays with the invitees of the party. But it was indeed a memorable party (Mitali’s item numbers on Disco Dancer and Beedi deserve special mention here).
Circa 2010- Bridezilla turned out to be quite the perfect bride and must be at this moment as I write these very words, settling down into wedded bliss and domesticity.
Loads of love and happiness to Mitali and Harsh.
Friday, November 20, 2009
The Ambitious Bachelorette Party Plan!
The background:
November 2008- Tiny, overdramatic but adorbable girl Mitali meets suave, charming US boy Harsh over pasta. They bond over lots of cheese and conversation.
December 2008- April 2009- Harsh proves to be persistent and manages to sweep the entire Munshi clan off their feet (Ba included).
May 2009- Mitali flies with her family to the US and gets hitched to Harsh. The wedding date is set for 3 January 2010.
As the parents kickstarted the wedding preparations, Mitali’s younger sister and my partner in crime Mansi and me started with blueprints forthe bachelorette party.
The party had to be kick ass as the game of one-upmanship had already begun with the ‘ladke waale’. Post the release of ‘Hangover’ , the groom to be revealed his trump card and his grand plans of hosting his bachelor party in Las Vegas…GRRR!!
Tempted as we were to attend Harsh’s party instead, we solemnly decided to try to get as close in awesomeness to his Vegas bash. The venue was a no-brainer really. Which is the one place in India that could be as great as Vegas with the sun, sand, booze and gambling………..GO GOA!! We hatched a brilliant three day plan much to Harsh’s dismay. I guess he must have really cursed our plans with absolute vengeance because what followed was plain tragic..
The dates were frozen- 9th to 11th October. Personalised naughty t-shirts were made for each hen. Bookings were made at beach side hotels. We even managed to get hold of a shady person who could apparently arrange for decent strippers…. (still not quite sure about the connotation of decent here)
Cut down to the week of the much- awaited bachelorette weekend in Goa- the heavens opened up and lashed out in complete fury all across coastal areas in India. Upon channel surfing, I chanced upon the news of how tourists were stranded in Goa, beaches cordoned off, roads blocked and what not. Of course, this was not precedented and had not been witnessed in Goa in years. I immediately relayed the news to the bride to be who was devastated and ready to perform a ‘havan in her bikini’ (quote unquote) to appease the sun gods of Goa.
To answer the question in your minds- the above method did not work and we were left to watch the rain gods work it. Like small kids who refuse to part with their bicycle after just mastering how to ride one, Mansi and me refused to give up on our Goa plan. We decided to wait a while for the calm after the storm and post pone our trip.
However, what followed can only be explained as a global conspiracy to restrain us from Goa.
1) On 8TH October- news broke out of a serial killer patrolling the roads of North Goa and preying upon unsuspecting tourists- especially female. (pleasant isnt it)
2) Soon after- the Goa Express derails (did I forget to mention we were planning to go by train)
3) Very soon after- Minor bomb blasts reported in Margao.
4) Oh yeah and it kept raining through all this.
Now was this a sign or what! Groom to be snickered through all this and the resonance of his guffaws were felt all the way back in Pune.
And this was the reason for the sudden demise of the Goa Bachelorette Party.
But what was more tragic was the devastation and post-incident trauma it put the bride to be through (I told you she was over dramatic)
One heads up for everyone- if you think a pregnant woman has varied mood swings, try a bride to be who’s leaving her nest in Pune and moving to Washington.
Anyway, Mansi and me decided to make it up to Mitali by trying to plan a party in Pune and that’s what makes the premise of my next post.
Coming Shortly……..
November 2008- Tiny, overdramatic but adorbable girl Mitali meets suave, charming US boy Harsh over pasta. They bond over lots of cheese and conversation.
December 2008- April 2009- Harsh proves to be persistent and manages to sweep the entire Munshi clan off their feet (Ba included).
May 2009- Mitali flies with her family to the US and gets hitched to Harsh. The wedding date is set for 3 January 2010.
As the parents kickstarted the wedding preparations, Mitali’s younger sister and my partner in crime Mansi and me started with blueprints forthe bachelorette party.
The party had to be kick ass as the game of one-upmanship had already begun with the ‘ladke waale’. Post the release of ‘Hangover’ , the groom to be revealed his trump card and his grand plans of hosting his bachelor party in Las Vegas…GRRR!!
Tempted as we were to attend Harsh’s party instead, we solemnly decided to try to get as close in awesomeness to his Vegas bash. The venue was a no-brainer really. Which is the one place in India that could be as great as Vegas with the sun, sand, booze and gambling………..GO GOA!! We hatched a brilliant three day plan much to Harsh’s dismay. I guess he must have really cursed our plans with absolute vengeance because what followed was plain tragic..
The dates were frozen- 9th to 11th October. Personalised naughty t-shirts were made for each hen. Bookings were made at beach side hotels. We even managed to get hold of a shady person who could apparently arrange for decent strippers…. (still not quite sure about the connotation of decent here)
Cut down to the week of the much- awaited bachelorette weekend in Goa- the heavens opened up and lashed out in complete fury all across coastal areas in India. Upon channel surfing, I chanced upon the news of how tourists were stranded in Goa, beaches cordoned off, roads blocked and what not. Of course, this was not precedented and had not been witnessed in Goa in years. I immediately relayed the news to the bride to be who was devastated and ready to perform a ‘havan in her bikini’ (quote unquote) to appease the sun gods of Goa.
To answer the question in your minds- the above method did not work and we were left to watch the rain gods work it. Like small kids who refuse to part with their bicycle after just mastering how to ride one, Mansi and me refused to give up on our Goa plan. We decided to wait a while for the calm after the storm and post pone our trip.
However, what followed can only be explained as a global conspiracy to restrain us from Goa.
1) On 8TH October- news broke out of a serial killer patrolling the roads of North Goa and preying upon unsuspecting tourists- especially female. (pleasant isnt it)
2) Soon after- the Goa Express derails (did I forget to mention we were planning to go by train)
3) Very soon after- Minor bomb blasts reported in Margao.
4) Oh yeah and it kept raining through all this.
Now was this a sign or what! Groom to be snickered through all this and the resonance of his guffaws were felt all the way back in Pune.
And this was the reason for the sudden demise of the Goa Bachelorette Party.
But what was more tragic was the devastation and post-incident trauma it put the bride to be through (I told you she was over dramatic)
One heads up for everyone- if you think a pregnant woman has varied mood swings, try a bride to be who’s leaving her nest in Pune and moving to Washington.
Anyway, Mansi and me decided to make it up to Mitali by trying to plan a party in Pune and that’s what makes the premise of my next post.
Coming Shortly……..
IM BACK!!!
I am back from the self-imposed exile/coma. For those who thought that this blog had died its early untimely death, let me tell you the end is not even near.
Anyway I thought today was a perfect day to get back to old beginnings as this blog has just got its ISO 90001 approval from Indiblogger. (taking a bow) I now feel its my duty to keep writing and stop procrastrinating.
I really don’t have much of an excuse for the three month hiatus except that I was not so bored at work (!!!) (which basically goes against the foundation of this blog)
I kept gathering post its in my mind about what I would first write and well here goes nothing…
Anyway I thought today was a perfect day to get back to old beginnings as this blog has just got its ISO 90001 approval from Indiblogger. (taking a bow) I now feel its my duty to keep writing and stop procrastrinating.
I really don’t have much of an excuse for the three month hiatus except that I was not so bored at work (!!!) (which basically goes against the foundation of this blog)
I kept gathering post its in my mind about what I would first write and well here goes nothing…
Friday, August 7, 2009
Eventful Ridiculous Monday!
For all my colleagues and ex colleagues- this one your totally going to get!
For all those who are still up for reading this- you can atleast scoff at how haphazard an MNC can actually be:-
Monday mornings can best be described as drowsy, droopy and just plain dreadful. Why would anyone start anything new feeling like the above. However, in most workplaces like mine, we always schedule new assignments for a Monday.
Which brings me to the biggest farce of them all-Scheduling meetings.
To the uninitiated, these are meetings where our managers get together with a fancy projector and a staff list and decide how best to keep everyone from having any free time. The premise of these meetings being- to make sure every assignment and its team are scheduled well in advance with no overlapping. Great idea right- but unfortunately just in thought! The well thought out purpose is almost always defeated.
I reached office Monday morning at 9.15 a.m for a 9.30 am meeting (after a late Sunday night dinner at Chandni Chowk, that’s just downright admirable.)
I felt really purposeful as I knew I was going to finally start a new assignment- one I had gone to three years ago as a wide eyed intern.
9.30 a.m: My manager’s is known for his punctuality. I wonder what is keeping him but give him the benefit of doubt.
9.40 a.m: I fill my expense claim for the previous client (a princely sum of Rs 2000)
9.50 a.m: Go make myself a hot cuppa ‘chai’ in the cafeteria.
10.00 a.m: Can’t stop thinking about what is keeping my manager. I plan to give him leeway of 10 more minutes and in the meantime download my official mail.
10.05 a.m: Bombarded with mails from my manager , sent on a Sunday , if I may please add!
The mails mention nothing of the client I am supposed to be on. It is for a new startup client-lets call it ‘XYZ Corporation’. The icing on the cake- it’s to be completed in 5 days!!! Wowee!
I read the mail once again to comprehend the goings on-and I observe another colleague (lets call him Roly Poly) marked on the mail. Yay! I have a partner in crime in this madness.
10.15 a.m: I call Roly Poly (after a crazy hunt for his number in the online directory) Roly Poly has no freaking clue what I am talking about but who can blame him- who checks mails on a SUNDAY! To top it all, he is on a client on the outskirts of Pune so there is no way he can make it to XYZ. Right about now, I control my murderous urges.
10.25 a.m: I call my manager who is down with a fever(maybe even swine flu , obviously my call goes unanswered.
10.30 a.m: I call up the client contact mentioned in the mail- No prizes for guessing – his phone was switched off too! Help!!! I am being attacked by Murphy’s law.
I am hyperventilating now! Another manager- ST stops by my seat, laughs uncontrollably and states matter-of-factly-“You should be used to this by now”. Really now!!
I am stumped and I just sit waiting for some call- any call from anyone!
10.40 a.m: My manager deigns to call me!! It’s a breakthrough! He makes me see sense in this totally senseless scenario. I am to go to this client by afternoon he says and Roly Poly will join me on Tuesday. I speak to one of the directors at the client place- sounds like a jolly old man (how wrong I would be)
11 a.m: I leave for the client , situated in the most crowded part of town. It takes me forever to get to the address and when I do, I realize- the hospital its situated at is actually a maternity home cum paedetric ward !
12 noon: I make my way up the stairs (formula:when the number of floors is more than two, result is the lift is always under maintenance) Amidst my climb, I am accompanied by the sweet symphonies of screaming women in labour and noisy children bawling their lungs out. I also get looked at curiously - coz neither do I look pregnant nor am I a child.
I finally reach my destination- the fourth floor – I hunt for a board that claims it is XYZ but there is no such thing. I ring the bell of what looks to be a house. A young guy opens the door and with a cute American twang says “Welcome Priyanka”!
This is my “Oh My Gawdd” moment- was he the same director I spoke to on the phone- the one I thought was a jolly old man. I am embarrassed- the guy does not look a day over 30.
What follows are several OMG moments.
A) The office of XYZ Corp is actually the not so humble home of the cute American Indian director. This has never happened to me- In my tenure with this organization- I have been to warehouses, godowns, swanky glass buildings, run down Government like offices but never, I repeat never, to a Director’s house! LOL!
B) The cutie asks me to join them at a dining table which doubles up as their workstation.(!!!!) I politely decline saying there’s no plug point for my laptop.
C) Cutie placates me by saying “Oh, you can sit in the bedroom. We have made arrangements and all the files are there.” (WHAT!!!)
D) I apprehensively enter the bedroom which thankfully has no bed. There is a small wooden table and chair (the kinds sixth standard kids have at home). The thought that occurs to me is how the hell will my colleague Roly Poly fit at this table. (I was to later find out that it was a sight better than the thoughtJ))
E) I set shop on the table , files and laptop et all. The cutie’s employee- lets call her scientist lady- her 2 year old tot marches in and sits next to me. This really takes the cake. I now have to deal with this pesky tot for the rest of the day who starts with running away with my pencils. Aaargh!
F) The income of this company- Rs 100,000 (!!!) I backtrack to the financials to read whether the figure is in million. Nope-it really is 1 lac. [ my eyes pop out of their sunken sockets]I give up!
G) And the worst revelation of them all- no CHAI is served….now for all my friends and colleagues who are caffeine addicts- I am sure you guys emphatise with what a catastrophic situation this is.
Due to lack of tea, I am now facing a writer’s block . So here’s where I embark upon to discover the best roadside tapri cutting chai.
For all those who are still up for reading this- you can atleast scoff at how haphazard an MNC can actually be:-
Monday mornings can best be described as drowsy, droopy and just plain dreadful. Why would anyone start anything new feeling like the above. However, in most workplaces like mine, we always schedule new assignments for a Monday.
Which brings me to the biggest farce of them all-Scheduling meetings.
To the uninitiated, these are meetings where our managers get together with a fancy projector and a staff list and decide how best to keep everyone from having any free time. The premise of these meetings being- to make sure every assignment and its team are scheduled well in advance with no overlapping. Great idea right- but unfortunately just in thought! The well thought out purpose is almost always defeated.
I reached office Monday morning at 9.15 a.m for a 9.30 am meeting (after a late Sunday night dinner at Chandni Chowk, that’s just downright admirable.)
I felt really purposeful as I knew I was going to finally start a new assignment- one I had gone to three years ago as a wide eyed intern.
9.30 a.m: My manager’s is known for his punctuality. I wonder what is keeping him but give him the benefit of doubt.
9.40 a.m: I fill my expense claim for the previous client (a princely sum of Rs 2000)
9.50 a.m: Go make myself a hot cuppa ‘chai’ in the cafeteria.
10.00 a.m: Can’t stop thinking about what is keeping my manager. I plan to give him leeway of 10 more minutes and in the meantime download my official mail.
10.05 a.m: Bombarded with mails from my manager , sent on a Sunday , if I may please add!
The mails mention nothing of the client I am supposed to be on. It is for a new startup client-lets call it ‘XYZ Corporation’. The icing on the cake- it’s to be completed in 5 days!!! Wowee!
I read the mail once again to comprehend the goings on-and I observe another colleague (lets call him Roly Poly) marked on the mail. Yay! I have a partner in crime in this madness.
10.15 a.m: I call Roly Poly (after a crazy hunt for his number in the online directory) Roly Poly has no freaking clue what I am talking about but who can blame him- who checks mails on a SUNDAY! To top it all, he is on a client on the outskirts of Pune so there is no way he can make it to XYZ. Right about now, I control my murderous urges.
10.25 a.m: I call my manager who is down with a fever(maybe even swine flu , obviously my call goes unanswered.
10.30 a.m: I call up the client contact mentioned in the mail- No prizes for guessing – his phone was switched off too! Help!!! I am being attacked by Murphy’s law.
I am hyperventilating now! Another manager- ST stops by my seat, laughs uncontrollably and states matter-of-factly-“You should be used to this by now”. Really now!!
I am stumped and I just sit waiting for some call- any call from anyone!
10.40 a.m: My manager deigns to call me!! It’s a breakthrough! He makes me see sense in this totally senseless scenario. I am to go to this client by afternoon he says and Roly Poly will join me on Tuesday. I speak to one of the directors at the client place- sounds like a jolly old man (how wrong I would be)
11 a.m: I leave for the client , situated in the most crowded part of town. It takes me forever to get to the address and when I do, I realize- the hospital its situated at is actually a maternity home cum paedetric ward !
12 noon: I make my way up the stairs (formula:when the number of floors is more than two, result is the lift is always under maintenance) Amidst my climb, I am accompanied by the sweet symphonies of screaming women in labour and noisy children bawling their lungs out. I also get looked at curiously - coz neither do I look pregnant nor am I a child.
I finally reach my destination- the fourth floor – I hunt for a board that claims it is XYZ but there is no such thing. I ring the bell of what looks to be a house. A young guy opens the door and with a cute American twang says “Welcome Priyanka”!
This is my “Oh My Gawdd” moment- was he the same director I spoke to on the phone- the one I thought was a jolly old man. I am embarrassed- the guy does not look a day over 30.
What follows are several OMG moments.
A) The office of XYZ Corp is actually the not so humble home of the cute American Indian director. This has never happened to me- In my tenure with this organization- I have been to warehouses, godowns, swanky glass buildings, run down Government like offices but never, I repeat never, to a Director’s house! LOL!
B) The cutie asks me to join them at a dining table which doubles up as their workstation.(!!!!) I politely decline saying there’s no plug point for my laptop.
C) Cutie placates me by saying “Oh, you can sit in the bedroom. We have made arrangements and all the files are there.” (WHAT!!!)
D) I apprehensively enter the bedroom which thankfully has no bed. There is a small wooden table and chair (the kinds sixth standard kids have at home). The thought that occurs to me is how the hell will my colleague Roly Poly fit at this table. (I was to later find out that it was a sight better than the thoughtJ))
E) I set shop on the table , files and laptop et all. The cutie’s employee- lets call her scientist lady- her 2 year old tot marches in and sits next to me. This really takes the cake. I now have to deal with this pesky tot for the rest of the day who starts with running away with my pencils. Aaargh!
F) The income of this company- Rs 100,000 (!!!) I backtrack to the financials to read whether the figure is in million. Nope-it really is 1 lac. [ my eyes pop out of their sunken sockets]I give up!
G) And the worst revelation of them all- no CHAI is served….now for all my friends and colleagues who are caffeine addicts- I am sure you guys emphatise with what a catastrophic situation this is.
Due to lack of tea, I am now facing a writer’s block . So here’s where I embark upon to discover the best roadside tapri cutting chai.
Friday, July 31, 2009
When did the world turn single - unfriendly!
I was just browsing through my friend list on FB to send a link and this rather sudden realization struck me like a bolt out of the blue.
Almost everyone on my list was attached, in the process of being attached or already married.
When did the world turn into Noah’s ark with everyone coming in two by two. And was I really sleeping through this apocalypse .
Here I am, 24 years old, reasonably attractive, sufficiently smart but bombarded with the oft repeated question- “Are you seeing someone? No, really?! That cant be true.”
To which I respond- No I like to hide my relationship status so that I can enjoy attention from and have tempestuous flings with random strangers.
My point being – why is it such a big deal if I am single. Why is my dating history of as much significance (if not more ) as my qualifications.
I am single as I choose to be single.
Don’t get me wrong- I am neither an avid feminist nor am I embittered by a past relationship.
I really do enjoy seeing people in love but I am willing to wait for the biggest cliché in the book – the elusive ‘right one’.
Its not entirely the majority population’s fault for being pro-relationship- generations are fed on candy floss movies about knights in shining armour and lovey dovey songs that hum happily ever after. We just subconsciously get conditioned into believing we are not good enough if we have not yet found someone to be with.
Here’s what others out there need to know- being single can be ‘sunny side up’. It’s a matter of perspective and here’s mine-
1) You own yourself, your time, your decisions, your opinions. A lot of friends I know lose their own identity in relationships. When your single- your always on a path of self discovery.
2) You do not have to deal with someone else’s grumpy/ moody personalities.
3) You do not waste precious time stroking the fragile and insatiable male ego.
4) You enjoy free drinks, complimentary desserts and less waiting time in queues- Men have an unmistakable radar that can sense when you are single and automatically become very generous.
5) You can have as many male friends without having to constantly justify yourself or tie anyone a ‘raakhi’ just to announce how platonic a friendship can be.
6) You are allowed to be totally selfish- It is OK if you spend your whole paycheque on yourself.
7) You can snicker when you see couples fighting in public places ( or the more commonplace type - couples who go through an entire dinner without speaking a direct word to each other)
8) You do not have to worry about other girls. This also transalates into being in a space where your not jealous or constantly looking over your shoulder.
9) The world is always your oyster- You can flirt, you can date, the possibilities being boundless.
10) Every day can be Girls Night Out (which is way more fun than Guys Night Out- guys night out is just ‘gang of girls meeting up and chatting over beer and maybe poker’)
11) You can watch as many cheesy romantic chick flicks without being pressurized to watch football or play Xbox.
12) You can stay home on a Saturday night if you want to.
13) Last but not the least- By default, you end up spending quality time with your loved ones i.e family, friends, etc (basically people you take for granted while in a relationship)
Disclaimer of Opinion: The irony in this whole scenario is that none of these things matter once you meet the person who sweeps you off your feet. Love is indeed blind to logic!
Monday, July 27, 2009
The beginning!
My blog was initially going to be titled just ' Confessions of a Workaholic' - the genesis of this being the countless nutty things i encounter daily at a place i spend maximum of my time at i.e work! My friends encouraged me to do this as I apparently have a funny take on everything so here goes. I sit here at the client place awaiting the arrival of my difficult to track down manager ,herin referred to as PT and I am just plain bored. Hence, the revision to the title.
This blog is not intellectual, it is just a fun place for me to list down what I feel. Notice the emphasis on what I feel, so really if you enjoy reading this - its just a generous add on.
A little background on what I do- I am a Chartered Accountant and a total misfit in this highly sterotyped profession. But there is this highly inspiring quote I read somewhere which says- ''Why try to fit in when you are created to stand out?' and its my official mantra hereon.
Typical character attributes of an Accountant:-
1) Boring - Am i ? Heck no!
2) Speak in jargon made infamous by Pranab Mukerjee at the recently concluded Budget session- I consider myself sufficiently aware of most terms but I have to confess I have to keep going back to brush up on repo and reverse repo rates and their impact on the economy. (I like to think of myself as a micro-minded person, who could not care a damn about the macro view as long as I saved tax and made me some money)
3) Consider going for seminars on IFRS as a weekend outing- Never been for one though I am sure my institute has made sure I will in the near future thanks to their compulsory training hours.
4) Looks down upon frivilous talk- I love frivilous talk if u ask me! And I abhor people who can only talk shop even after office hours.
A wise teacher once told me - Chartered Accountants almost always look like oranges who have been peeled off with dried up personalities. Give them Excel and their sunken eyes light up and otherwise good luck getting them to do anything fun!
And thats when I decided- I would never be a dried up orange- I would rather be a big juicy mango, ripe with my gregarious and cheerful demeanour. Not to say, I would not be good at my job- Just that I would also strike a fine balance between being the professional I am expected to and being the crazy unabashed person I am.
Now you would ask how anyone like me would become a workaholic- victim of the system is my answer. Stemming from my basic problem of being sincere and not being able to say no to responsibility- 3.5 years into my profession, its hard to pinpoint that one day I got sucked into the abyss of deadlines, burning the midnight oil to complete reports and deliverables.
And here I am , like the proverbial fly in the soup, sometimes struggling to stay afloat, sometimes comfortably bobbing up and down but never really getting myself to leave everything.
I have to now go order lunch for my manager-PT who has no time to tell me when he's coming for a review but all the time to SMS me what he wants to have for lunch and when..Oh well.....
Until later then
*PGN*
This blog is not intellectual, it is just a fun place for me to list down what I feel. Notice the emphasis on what I feel, so really if you enjoy reading this - its just a generous add on.
A little background on what I do- I am a Chartered Accountant and a total misfit in this highly sterotyped profession. But there is this highly inspiring quote I read somewhere which says- ''Why try to fit in when you are created to stand out?' and its my official mantra hereon.
Typical character attributes of an Accountant:-
1) Boring - Am i ? Heck no!
2) Speak in jargon made infamous by Pranab Mukerjee at the recently concluded Budget session- I consider myself sufficiently aware of most terms but I have to confess I have to keep going back to brush up on repo and reverse repo rates and their impact on the economy. (I like to think of myself as a micro-minded person, who could not care a damn about the macro view as long as I saved tax and made me some money)
3) Consider going for seminars on IFRS as a weekend outing- Never been for one though I am sure my institute has made sure I will in the near future thanks to their compulsory training hours.
4) Looks down upon frivilous talk- I love frivilous talk if u ask me! And I abhor people who can only talk shop even after office hours.
A wise teacher once told me - Chartered Accountants almost always look like oranges who have been peeled off with dried up personalities. Give them Excel and their sunken eyes light up and otherwise good luck getting them to do anything fun!
And thats when I decided- I would never be a dried up orange- I would rather be a big juicy mango, ripe with my gregarious and cheerful demeanour. Not to say, I would not be good at my job- Just that I would also strike a fine balance between being the professional I am expected to and being the crazy unabashed person I am.
Now you would ask how anyone like me would become a workaholic- victim of the system is my answer. Stemming from my basic problem of being sincere and not being able to say no to responsibility- 3.5 years into my profession, its hard to pinpoint that one day I got sucked into the abyss of deadlines, burning the midnight oil to complete reports and deliverables.
And here I am , like the proverbial fly in the soup, sometimes struggling to stay afloat, sometimes comfortably bobbing up and down but never really getting myself to leave everything.
I have to now go order lunch for my manager-PT who has no time to tell me when he's coming for a review but all the time to SMS me what he wants to have for lunch and when..Oh well.....
Until later then
*PGN*
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