Eventful Ridiculous Monday!

For all my colleagues and ex colleagues- this one your totally going to get!
For all those who are still up for reading this- you can atleast scoff at how haphazard an MNC can actually be:-

Monday mornings can best be described as drowsy, droopy and just plain dreadful. Why would anyone start anything new feeling like the above. However, in most workplaces like mine, we always schedule new assignments for a Monday.

Which brings me to the biggest farce of them all-Scheduling meetings.
To the uninitiated, these are meetings where our managers get together with a fancy projector and a staff list and decide how best to keep everyone from having any free time. The premise of these meetings being- to make sure every assignment and its team are scheduled well in advance with no overlapping. Great idea right- but unfortunately just in thought! The well thought out purpose is almost always defeated.
I reached office Monday morning at 9.15 a.m for a 9.30 am meeting (after a late Sunday night dinner at Chandni Chowk, that’s just downright admirable.)
I felt really purposeful as I knew I was going to finally start a new assignment- one I had gone to three years ago as a wide eyed intern.

9.30 a.m: My manager’s is known for his punctuality. I wonder what is keeping him but give him the benefit of doubt.

9.40 a.m: I fill my expense claim for the previous client (a princely sum of Rs 2000)

9.50 a.m: Go make myself a hot cuppa ‘chai’ in the cafeteria.

10.00 a.m: Can’t stop thinking about what is keeping my manager. I plan to give him leeway of 10 more minutes and in the meantime download my official mail.

10.05 a.m: Bombarded with mails from my manager , sent on a Sunday , if I may please add!
The mails mention nothing of the client I am supposed to be on. It is for a new startup client-lets call it ‘XYZ Corporation’. The icing on the cake- it’s to be completed in 5 days!!! Wowee!
I read the mail once again to comprehend the goings on-and I observe another colleague (lets call him Roly Poly) marked on the mail. Yay! I have a partner in crime in this madness.

10.15 a.m: I call Roly Poly (after a crazy hunt for his number in the online directory) Roly Poly has no freaking clue what I am talking about but who can blame him- who checks mails on a SUNDAY! To top it all, he is on a client on the outskirts of Pune so there is no way he can make it to XYZ. Right about now, I control my murderous urges.

10.25 a.m: I call my manager who is down with a fever(maybe even swine flu , obviously my call goes unanswered.
10.30 a.m: I call up the client contact mentioned in the mail- No prizes for guessing – his phone was switched off too! Help!!! I am being attacked by Murphy’s law.
I am hyperventilating now! Another manager- ST stops by my seat, laughs uncontrollably and states matter-of-factly-“You should be used to this by now”. Really now!!
I am stumped and I just sit waiting for some call- any call from anyone!

10.40 a.m: My manager deigns to call me!! It’s a breakthrough! He makes me see sense in this totally senseless scenario. I am to go to this client by afternoon he says and Roly Poly will join me on Tuesday. I speak to one of the directors at the client place- sounds like a jolly old man (how wrong I would be)

11 a.m: I leave for the client , situated in the most crowded part of town. It takes me forever to get to the address and when I do, I realize- the hospital its situated at is actually a maternity home cum paedetric ward !

12 noon: I make my way up the stairs (formula:when the number of floors is more than two, result is the lift is always under maintenance) Amidst my climb, I am accompanied by the sweet symphonies of screaming women in labour and noisy children bawling their lungs out. I also get looked at curiously - coz neither do I look pregnant nor am I a child.
I finally reach my destination- the fourth floor – I hunt for a board that claims it is XYZ but there is no such thing. I ring the bell of what looks to be a house. A young guy opens the door and with a cute American twang says “Welcome Priyanka”!
This is my “Oh My Gawdd” moment- was he the same director I spoke to on the phone- the one I thought was a jolly old man. I am embarrassed- the guy does not look a day over 30.
What follows are several OMG moments.

A) The office of XYZ Corp is actually the not so humble home of the cute American Indian director. This has never happened to me- In my tenure with this organization- I have been to warehouses, godowns, swanky glass buildings, run down Government like offices but never, I repeat never, to a Director’s house! LOL!
B) The cutie asks me to join them at a dining table which doubles up as their workstation.(!!!!) I politely decline saying there’s no plug point for my laptop.
C) Cutie placates me by saying “Oh, you can sit in the bedroom. We have made arrangements and all the files are there.” (WHAT!!!)
D) I apprehensively enter the bedroom which thankfully has no bed. There is a small wooden table and chair (the kinds sixth standard kids have at home). The thought that occurs to me is how the hell will my colleague Roly Poly fit at this table. (I was to later find out that it was a sight better than the thoughtJ))
E) I set shop on the table , files and laptop et all. The cutie’s employee- lets call her scientist lady- her 2 year old tot marches in and sits next to me. This really takes the cake. I now have to deal with this pesky tot for the rest of the day who starts with running away with my pencils. Aaargh!
F) The income of this company- Rs 100,000 (!!!) I backtrack to the financials to read whether the figure is in million. Nope-it really is 1 lac. [ my eyes pop out of their sunken sockets]I give up!
G) And the worst revelation of them all- no CHAI is served….now for all my friends and colleagues who are caffeine addicts- I am sure you guys emphatise with what a catastrophic situation this is.

Due to lack of tea, I am now facing a writer’s block . So here’s where I embark upon to discover the best roadside tapri cutting chai.