Having lived in Pune all my life, I have always felt safe and secure in this Maratha city. All this changed on 13 February 2010 which will forever be marked as a red-letter day for Pune. Its the day we as Puneites realised that we not only have army and air force presence but also the dark lurking presence of sleeper cells in our city. Its the day we rudely awoke to the fact that our city is on the list just as much as metros, that our regular cup of tea (in this case Iranian tea/ginger lemon tea pot,etc) sipped in a quaint, idyllic, roadside cafe could cost us dearly, that high alerts received from the Indian intelligence/police patrolling will not save us from impending terror attacks and so on.
My 24 year old neighbour- Vikas Tulsiani breathed his last on 21 February 2010 after fighting for his life for more than a week. This post is my way of giving tribute to this guy who was oblivious to the fact that he would have to pay for his meal at German Bakery with his life. Vikas was one of the nicest and mild mannered guys I had ever come across. It is pointless to really ask why God fated him to be in the wrong place at the wrong time that day.
Glancing through the list of people who succumbed to their injuries (16 at last count), it was obvious that 99% comprised of young students who were on the brink of new careers. Vikas himself had received his graduation certificate on the ill-fated 13th morning and had been comtemplating pursuing a career in sound engineering. What is enraging about all this is - you had innocent, regular people like you and me, who did nothing foolhardy to deserve to meet their end or have their limbs amputated or suffer above 30% burns.
The important questions to ask now are:-
- Will the sacrifices of innocent citizens be honoured by punishing these terrorists? Or will these terror perpetrators wind up colling their heels in jail awaiting a trial despite their heinous crimes?
- Will there be a continuing lack of preparedness to counter future attacks?
- Will there be a lack of political resolve to reassure people that their lives are precious?
- Will Intelligence Agencies continue to under-inform and take no heed of information gathered earlier? (Mr. Headley had done a recce of areas barely 100 m from German Bakery just a few months ago) Further, will our revered Home Minister conceal the glaring gaffes of his police force in reacting to such information and elude the mention of their responsibility to protect the city.
Public defiance to such attacks has to survive the onslaught of time or else these painful memories wane eventually, leaving us just as vulnerable as before.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
The Power of Paranormally sub-standard movie reviews!
The object of my ire and which has induced me into writing this entry is the absolutely misleading review for a movie called 'Paranormal Activity'(from the stable of Paramount)(!!!!). Touted to be one of the scariest and well directed horror movies - this one had reviews promising the moon and more. It released in India, months after its international release (recently), and going by the reviews and the numbers (the sleeper hit has generated $100 million in the US alone) and being a horror flick afficinado- I was excited to watch it.
The last horror movie I had seen on 70 mm was the poor sequel- Ring 2. Call me weird, but I prefer the offbeat, unconventional horror movies with unpredictable twists in the end to the gory, bloody, inane movies in which some banshee/ demonic psycho kills everyone in a sequence.
Cases in point of the former- Psycho, Sixth Sense ,the totally underrated Nicole Kidman movie-The Others .
Cases in point of the latter- The Scream , I know what you did last summer, will do (and all the permutations of that one that the franchise can come up with) series.
And how I digress- coming back to this movie (if we can call this futile amateur attempt a movie). I dedicate this post to this ‘movie’ because , well I am PISSED OFF! - pissed at the 'movie'makers and pissed at reviewers who got me all excited to watch this shoddy excuse for a horror movie and wasted my precious time. And for whoever reads this by some miraculous chancing upon, I would have succeeded in my mission to not mislead anymore gullible,hopeful viewers and saved them from contributing towards the revenue of this 'movie'.
Background of movie-
An independent film written and directed by Oren Peli, it premiered at the Screamfest Film Festival ( I screamed in the agony of realizing it did not live up to its hype) , and was shown at the Slamdance Film Festival (wish the critics had slammed this film!). It is modestly made on a budget of $ 15,000 (oh…this shows!)
The ‘movie’ (inspired apparently by a true story) centers around a young couple, well-endowed Katie (the victim) and scrawny but brave Micah, who are haunted by a supernatural presence in their home. Micah decides to purchase a camera to record the haunting episodes during the nights. All the night occurrences are captured on tape and every morning the couple view the audiovisual recordings to identify new evidence. The only thumbs up with respect to this ‘movie’ is that the idea is fresh and for once clichés that the horror genre are usually afflicted with are avoided. There are no heavy thudding footsteps, ghosts with graphic facial disfigurations and sudden explosive sound effects. So for a minute , you are influenced into believing that the ‘movie’ attempts to raise the bar of fear only to realize that the director misses the bar completely. An example of a well conceived idea gone horribly wrong in execution.
Reasons why this movie invites my wrath and scathing criticism:-
-The film is shot with a constantly moving camera and rough around the edges framing, which gives the feel of a video shot at home (this and the fact that there are only 2 beings for 99% of the length of the film explains the miniscule budget).
-As mentioned above, a series of nights are filmed . I sat through expecting some terrifying moments every night. However, the audience is treated to only one eventful night in particular. The rest of the episodes on the remaining nights barely showcase a slight opening of the door, curtains moving, footprints appearing out of nowhere, doors slamming shut and opening, creaking,etc. None of these being the kind to give your spine a chill and before you know it, its morning in the movie and it hits you that 4 mins of film was wasted on that.
- There are no chilly moments in the movie that cause you to hold on to the armrest of your seat for life. No horror chutzpah!L Impossible deadlines at work, the minutes spent before the CA result flashes on the computer screen, clingy needy boys/men, not being able to find the right fitting jeans or the perfect New Year dress, my brother’s 360 degree spins in his car -have to be honest scared me much more than this lame ‘movie’.
- By the end of the ‘movie’, you can predict who is going to be the victim finally. This especially sucks because one always expects something so unexpected that it should blow one’s brains away and make one want to rewind the whole movie in one’s head to see how this turn of events did not seem logical while watching the movie.
I went home pissed off but slept peacefully like a baby! So I really don’t get why its reported that people had trouble sleeping for weeks after watching this movie – I continue to sleep just fine-thank you very much.
Now, the real horror is that Paramount has hired Saw VI director Kevin Greutert to create the follow-up for an October 22, 2010 release.(For their sake, I hope they get it right this time)
P.S- Just saw the trailers of Phoonk 2 – now that looks like it could scare. Will keep you posted.
The last horror movie I had seen on 70 mm was the poor sequel- Ring 2. Call me weird, but I prefer the offbeat, unconventional horror movies with unpredictable twists in the end to the gory, bloody, inane movies in which some banshee/ demonic psycho kills everyone in a sequence.
Cases in point of the former- Psycho, Sixth Sense ,the totally underrated Nicole Kidman movie-The Others .
Cases in point of the latter- The Scream , I know what you did last summer, will do (and all the permutations of that one that the franchise can come up with) series.
And how I digress- coming back to this movie (if we can call this futile amateur attempt a movie). I dedicate this post to this ‘movie’ because , well I am PISSED OFF! - pissed at the 'movie'makers and pissed at reviewers who got me all excited to watch this shoddy excuse for a horror movie and wasted my precious time. And for whoever reads this by some miraculous chancing upon, I would have succeeded in my mission to not mislead anymore gullible,hopeful viewers and saved them from contributing towards the revenue of this 'movie'.
Background of movie-
An independent film written and directed by Oren Peli, it premiered at the Screamfest Film Festival ( I screamed in the agony of realizing it did not live up to its hype) , and was shown at the Slamdance Film Festival (wish the critics had slammed this film!). It is modestly made on a budget of $ 15,000 (oh…this shows!)
The ‘movie’ (inspired apparently by a true story) centers around a young couple, well-endowed Katie (the victim) and scrawny but brave Micah, who are haunted by a supernatural presence in their home. Micah decides to purchase a camera to record the haunting episodes during the nights. All the night occurrences are captured on tape and every morning the couple view the audiovisual recordings to identify new evidence. The only thumbs up with respect to this ‘movie’ is that the idea is fresh and for once clichés that the horror genre are usually afflicted with are avoided. There are no heavy thudding footsteps, ghosts with graphic facial disfigurations and sudden explosive sound effects. So for a minute , you are influenced into believing that the ‘movie’ attempts to raise the bar of fear only to realize that the director misses the bar completely. An example of a well conceived idea gone horribly wrong in execution.
Reasons why this movie invites my wrath and scathing criticism:-
-The film is shot with a constantly moving camera and rough around the edges framing, which gives the feel of a video shot at home (this and the fact that there are only 2 beings for 99% of the length of the film explains the miniscule budget).
-As mentioned above, a series of nights are filmed . I sat through expecting some terrifying moments every night. However, the audience is treated to only one eventful night in particular. The rest of the episodes on the remaining nights barely showcase a slight opening of the door, curtains moving, footprints appearing out of nowhere, doors slamming shut and opening, creaking,etc. None of these being the kind to give your spine a chill and before you know it, its morning in the movie and it hits you that 4 mins of film was wasted on that.
- There are no chilly moments in the movie that cause you to hold on to the armrest of your seat for life. No horror chutzpah!L Impossible deadlines at work, the minutes spent before the CA result flashes on the computer screen, clingy needy boys/men, not being able to find the right fitting jeans or the perfect New Year dress, my brother’s 360 degree spins in his car -have to be honest scared me much more than this lame ‘movie’.
- By the end of the ‘movie’, you can predict who is going to be the victim finally. This especially sucks because one always expects something so unexpected that it should blow one’s brains away and make one want to rewind the whole movie in one’s head to see how this turn of events did not seem logical while watching the movie.
I went home pissed off but slept peacefully like a baby! So I really don’t get why its reported that people had trouble sleeping for weeks after watching this movie – I continue to sleep just fine-thank you very much.
Now, the real horror is that Paramount has hired Saw VI director Kevin Greutert to create the follow-up for an October 22, 2010 release.(For their sake, I hope they get it right this time)
P.S- Just saw the trailers of Phoonk 2 – now that looks like it could scare. Will keep you posted.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
The much delayed Bachelorette Party- Part II
I must start off from where I ended last and not procastrinate any further or Mitali would be settled in her new home in DC by the time I get to this.
A quick recap- Our much envied, pompous and grandiose Goa bachelorette plan backfired and how!!!
Mansi and me decided to resign ourselves to this fact and make do with a dinner and dancing theme in Pune itself. What we had not accounted for is our emotionally unstable Bridezilla aka Mitali having her first tantrum.
I was disturbed from my sleep by a panicky Mansi who claimed Mitali had been bawling all afternoon about how the Gods hated her and how we did too as we had completely canned having any bachelorette party. She was hurt by our insensitivity to hold a ‘lame’ dinner instead of a ‘wild’ party. Oh well- now we had to do something…and soon coz the weekend was just 2 days away.
Mansi and me juggled with the idea of putting Mitali through some more emotional torture and telling her nothing of what we were upto. Circumstances and the bridezilla’s tears forced us to tell her ‘ Shut up already, we are having a party for you but you better behave surprised’.
It was Thursday evening and we had everything left to plan for. We jotted down stuff that we needed :-
1) Fur stoles
2) Tiara
3) Poster of topless guy
4) Suggestive cake (seemed impossible at the time)
5) T-shirts for all the hens
6) Tiny dress for the bride to be
7) Strippers (in Pune, good luck finding one!)
The good thing about having a wild party in Goa is we out of towners did not have to care much while asking locals for the above items. When your faced with the prospect of finding these things in your own city, it leads to quite some discomfort, as Mansi and me would soon discover.
1. Our first stop was a lingerie store where we asked the attendant for some fur stoles- We got everything from feather lingerie, some weird S & M inspired stuff to even fur underwear. Finally, the guy got us some fur stoles from the stock room. We picked up an inky blue one and Mansi decided to wrap it around like a snake and walk across to the cash counter. I could feel all eyes in the store on us. Add to that, Mansi and me just could not believe how we found the stole in the first shop itself and we giggled uncontrollably. (The fur stole eventually leaked color and everyone at the party ended up with ink blue stains on their face)
2. Our search for tiaras landed us in gaudy stores adorned with artificial jewellery. Attendants presented us ‘ugh’ly blingy crowns that just screamed ‘Miss Ulhasnagar 2009’. We rummaged and managed to find a subtle headband with a tiara mounted on it. Simple and sweet.
3. Poster of topless guy- ahhh! Before you get any weird ideas- this was just for a wicked game of ‘Pin the %#!* on the guy’. As corny as it sounds, Mansi and me thought this would be really easy given that there are Hindi film actors who pose topless for their posters 99% of the time. However, these statistics failed us on that very day and we were left to enter every shop and ask rather unabashedly for topless posters. As out dratty luck would have it, we could not even find the posters of the perennially topless actor Salman Khan. We even tried to convince sports shop owners to part with old posters hung in their showrooms. You would think people would part with ages old posters willingly but they just gave us the look of shame. Our wild goose chase ended in a shady basement store and we were rewarded with a poster of Cristiano Ronaldo. (Might I add- after all the painstaking efforts and embarrassment endured for this, we actually forgot to play this game!!!)
4. Suggestive cake- As moral citizens of this city Pune, this posed a particular challenge for Mansi and me as this item could not be requested from the normal bakeries we go to. By some stroke of luck, Mansi’s friend opened a new bakery just the same weekend we were facing a conundrum of where to get the cake from. And while Mansi mentioned her dilemma in passing, her friend promptly called her head chef and said (I quote) “ Bhaiyaji, ek naughty cake lagega. Aap bana sakte ho?” Inane as it sounds, the chef did a fabulous job with the ‘naughty’ (never fails to crack me up) cake and well I cant really mention the shape/the message/ the things we made the bride to be do. In the end, arranging for this cake really turned out to be a piece of cake, pun intended.
5. T-shirts for all the hens- This was the easiest item on the agenda as there was a very co-operative and participative guy based in SGS mall to help with this. He sportingly sat through sessions of Mitali giving him customized nicknames and messages for each person.
6. Tiny dress- Not hard at all considering the hemlines these days. We bought the perfect baby pink princess dress for Mitali.
7. Strippers- As expected, this one on the wish list just could not be fulfilled. We did have some sporting male friends (Mansi’s) drop in but they developed cold feet last minute.
Of course, what happened at the party stays with the invitees of the party. But it was indeed a memorable party (Mitali’s item numbers on Disco Dancer and Beedi deserve special mention here).
Circa 2010- Bridezilla turned out to be quite the perfect bride and must be at this moment as I write these very words, settling down into wedded bliss and domesticity.
Loads of love and happiness to Mitali and Harsh.
A quick recap- Our much envied, pompous and grandiose Goa bachelorette plan backfired and how!!!
Mansi and me decided to resign ourselves to this fact and make do with a dinner and dancing theme in Pune itself. What we had not accounted for is our emotionally unstable Bridezilla aka Mitali having her first tantrum.
I was disturbed from my sleep by a panicky Mansi who claimed Mitali had been bawling all afternoon about how the Gods hated her and how we did too as we had completely canned having any bachelorette party. She was hurt by our insensitivity to hold a ‘lame’ dinner instead of a ‘wild’ party. Oh well- now we had to do something…and soon coz the weekend was just 2 days away.
Mansi and me juggled with the idea of putting Mitali through some more emotional torture and telling her nothing of what we were upto. Circumstances and the bridezilla’s tears forced us to tell her ‘ Shut up already, we are having a party for you but you better behave surprised’.
It was Thursday evening and we had everything left to plan for. We jotted down stuff that we needed :-
1) Fur stoles
2) Tiara
3) Poster of topless guy
4) Suggestive cake (seemed impossible at the time)
5) T-shirts for all the hens
6) Tiny dress for the bride to be
7) Strippers (in Pune, good luck finding one!)
The good thing about having a wild party in Goa is we out of towners did not have to care much while asking locals for the above items. When your faced with the prospect of finding these things in your own city, it leads to quite some discomfort, as Mansi and me would soon discover.
1. Our first stop was a lingerie store where we asked the attendant for some fur stoles- We got everything from feather lingerie, some weird S & M inspired stuff to even fur underwear. Finally, the guy got us some fur stoles from the stock room. We picked up an inky blue one and Mansi decided to wrap it around like a snake and walk across to the cash counter. I could feel all eyes in the store on us. Add to that, Mansi and me just could not believe how we found the stole in the first shop itself and we giggled uncontrollably. (The fur stole eventually leaked color and everyone at the party ended up with ink blue stains on their face)
2. Our search for tiaras landed us in gaudy stores adorned with artificial jewellery. Attendants presented us ‘ugh’ly blingy crowns that just screamed ‘Miss Ulhasnagar 2009’. We rummaged and managed to find a subtle headband with a tiara mounted on it. Simple and sweet.
3. Poster of topless guy- ahhh! Before you get any weird ideas- this was just for a wicked game of ‘Pin the %#!* on the guy’. As corny as it sounds, Mansi and me thought this would be really easy given that there are Hindi film actors who pose topless for their posters 99% of the time. However, these statistics failed us on that very day and we were left to enter every shop and ask rather unabashedly for topless posters. As out dratty luck would have it, we could not even find the posters of the perennially topless actor Salman Khan. We even tried to convince sports shop owners to part with old posters hung in their showrooms. You would think people would part with ages old posters willingly but they just gave us the look of shame. Our wild goose chase ended in a shady basement store and we were rewarded with a poster of Cristiano Ronaldo. (Might I add- after all the painstaking efforts and embarrassment endured for this, we actually forgot to play this game!!!)
4. Suggestive cake- As moral citizens of this city Pune, this posed a particular challenge for Mansi and me as this item could not be requested from the normal bakeries we go to. By some stroke of luck, Mansi’s friend opened a new bakery just the same weekend we were facing a conundrum of where to get the cake from. And while Mansi mentioned her dilemma in passing, her friend promptly called her head chef and said (I quote) “ Bhaiyaji, ek naughty cake lagega. Aap bana sakte ho?” Inane as it sounds, the chef did a fabulous job with the ‘naughty’ (never fails to crack me up) cake and well I cant really mention the shape/the message/ the things we made the bride to be do. In the end, arranging for this cake really turned out to be a piece of cake, pun intended.
5. T-shirts for all the hens- This was the easiest item on the agenda as there was a very co-operative and participative guy based in SGS mall to help with this. He sportingly sat through sessions of Mitali giving him customized nicknames and messages for each person.
6. Tiny dress- Not hard at all considering the hemlines these days. We bought the perfect baby pink princess dress for Mitali.
7. Strippers- As expected, this one on the wish list just could not be fulfilled. We did have some sporting male friends (Mansi’s) drop in but they developed cold feet last minute.
Of course, what happened at the party stays with the invitees of the party. But it was indeed a memorable party (Mitali’s item numbers on Disco Dancer and Beedi deserve special mention here).
Circa 2010- Bridezilla turned out to be quite the perfect bride and must be at this moment as I write these very words, settling down into wedded bliss and domesticity.
Loads of love and happiness to Mitali and Harsh.
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